Trauma manifests in unpredictable ways. Mine manifests as extreme distress and self judgement when its bad. Its not been bad for years. Each time it comes back it brings an old familiar cold comfort of 'here we are again'
Recently its been intense.
And its over now.
An long empathy session met my need to be heard and understood and validated. Yes the mother of my child has some particularly unpleasant ways she shows up, yes I am in almost total community isolation where I live, yes getting my first banning was outrageous and yes its because they don't know any better.